Covenantal Husband Part 1: An Abrupt Introduction

by Aaron Elder


By faith, trusting God, I want to launch into a topic that is transforming my life as I experience the grace of Christ in fuller measure. It is a topic I feel ill-equipped to discuss because my experience and knowledge are small. Yet it is a topic I am compelled to write about because we aren’t talking about it in our churches and I’m in desperate need of correction and growth myself.

I intend for this topic to be hard and (gasp) to even create disagreement – not for the sake of disagreement, but that we might sharpen one another.

The topic is this: Covenantal Headship. For some this topic is as loaded with baggage as a no-vacancy AIRBUS on a red-eye from New York to London. For others, the words are legible, but when put together they might as well be a foreign language! I will circle back on some definitions and framework in future posts, but I wanted to introduce this topic abruptly because that’s the way it meets real life.

I don’t work in Real Estate, but I want you to imagine that I’m the Real Estate Agent with a property to sell – it is actually your dream home. You want to buy this property, but you’re comfortable with your current home so you’re going to comb through the inspection and your job is to find any and all reasons not to buy the home of your dreams.

For this post, I want to start with a first look at your dream home, or rather your dream marriage/family and in my next (probably) we’re going to conduct an inspection report. First things first, let’s take a walk through the property, a working definition of Covenantal Headship: Men, whatever the atmosphere is like in your home, marriage, and family – YOU are responsible. Your family is not a committee with 2 co-chairs, your family is a covenant relationship under the authority of Jesus Christ over which YOU are head – just as Christ is head of the church. This whole thing you signed up for, wife, kids, family – brother, the WHOLE thing is on YOU.

Welcome to the life you always dreamed of…

I just wanted to check in, how’s my sales pitch on your new home? Ready to sign the paperwork?

I’m going to do something one shouldn’t do when writing in a blog like this. I’m going to stop here for today (Hint: This isn’t the end of the story). Here’s why: We, men, have been given indescribable responsibility by the King of Kings and I don’t know if we’re really aware of how weighty it is.

My invitation is for you to wrestle with what you just read. Let the weight of it press on you. Talk about it. Write about it. Interact with me about it.

Here it is, you thought you knew this was your dream home. Yet you haven’t even read the inspection report and already you sense that the work required might crush you.

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